Molly at Adventures in Mercy has another one of her from-the-gut transparent posts about her experience in separating from her husband. This one is about reactions from the Christian community around her.
Here, Let Me Tell You How to Live Your Life
In the comment thread one woman mentions an upcoming visit with a friend she suspects will announce her intention to get divorced during their visit. As a friend who was in the wedding party of this couple, she’s struggling with the feeling that there might be something she should or could say to talk her friend out of it. But in the meantime she is mulling over just saying:
1. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
2. I’m also sorry I haven’t been there for you (we’ve lost contact over the years)
3. Is there anything I can do for you?
I think those are good things to say, and a good place to stop. And then listen.
I’ve been really busy. I have three active website clients right now where I usually prefer to handle one at a time. The good thing about having three, though, is that it forces me to be methodical and helps me regard my work as a business. It has been a business for awhile now….a fact that was driven home to me when my city called me up and said I have to buy a business license in order to legally do what I do.
Also my next door neighbor did move into a retirement home (assisted living apartment) and has needed a good bit of help in getting settled. It’s going to be a wonderful place for her, and I’m very impressed with it. She has a large apartment — 2 BR/2BA apartment with a large living room and a small kitchen alcove and wonderful windows. It’s a very clean, sunshiny space. I have had to interact with the staff on a daily basis and they have been unfailingly supportive, interested, and helpful. She knows people who live there, and they have already reached out to her.
It’s just that this move came up so suddenly, she had no time to prepare herself, either practically or emotionally, and she’s also dealing with so many physical problems that she can’t do anything on her own to sort her situation out. It’s truly a time for friends, neighbors and church friends to come to her aid (since she has no family anywhere nearby, and no close family at all.) I’ve been running errands for her and visiting her daily, unpacking her things in her new home and also just visiting. Fortunately she has a couple of other faithful ladies from her church who have been extremely dedicated about making sure she’s taken care of.
In Christianity we have a hope – a vision for the future, where God “will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away…”
And another thing, I’ll bet every craziness will be wiped away. And that someone like Michael Jackson’s inner torments will all be untwisted and brought round to all their best, most innocent starting places and fulfillments. Today I spent some time watching Michael Jackson videos, from the child star singing “I Want You Back” to the likes of “Smooth Criminal” and “Dirty Diana” and the Billie Jean performance that introduced the “moonwalk”.
When my oldest was around two years old, our good friends got their daughter (same age as our son) the Thriller album for her second or third birthday. I never heard “Billie Jean” or “Beat It” outside the context of our friends putting it on for the little kids to “dance” to, but of course I couldn’t NOT enjoy those beats.
I did not realize Michael Jackson is (was) my exact age. It is hard for me to process that a person with such a huge personality and presence could die…just like that. May he know and enjoy peace now.
Scott, who is in hospital with a back injury says this bread will be a key to his recovery once he comes home (tomorrow or tonight):
5 minute artisan bread with Zoe and Jeff:
A favorite summertime dinner around here is this dish which was introduced to me by my brother, who got it from the America’s Test Kitchen program aka Cook’s Illustrated. Here is a blogger who reproduced the recipe:
http://redmeatandgin.wordpress.com/2008/02/22/pasta-with-sauteed-mushrooms-and-thyme/
I grow thyme every year in my back porch herb pots, and mainly use it in this dish. The flavors are subtle, and go nicely with Protocolo, an inexpensive (under $10) but nice Spanish red wine.
It’s true that church, in its root meaning, is the assembly of believers, it’s the people. Church didn’t originally connote a building. But get enough people assembling together and you might want a building.
A building, then. In some parts of the world, you build a hut and are grateful for the hospitable shade. In other parts of the world, you have the luxury of choices. Outwardly it could have functionality and beauty. Before any greeting is given, any word spoken, any sacrament shared, the building could convey theology in wood and stone. Its design could serve its churchly purpose – or thwart it.
I remember being in NYC – such a secular place – but a place with hundreds, if not thousands of beautiful, impressive churches. Those buildings lift their soaring steeples and say things about beauty and worship and transcendence – or provoke questions – what purpose inspired such extravagance of carving and arch and window and vaulted heights?
There was a recent trend towards building church buildings that looked more like a mall or other bland public building — so as not to seem outlandish to visitors. Other church buildings have been put up with all possible frugality – to keep the focus on money flowing toward acute needs in the human family around the world. I can think of no argument against that. But apart from that, I’m for architecture that speaks in its own way about the sacred and lifts spirits with its beauty.
Here is an article published in Christianity Today about a growing preference towards church buildings that look like church buildings. “Keeping Holy Ground Holy”
“When we built it, there was a lot of movement towards the warehouse look, with black ceilings,” says Dana Blackwood, Church of the Apostles’ director of facilities. “The church leadership understood that that look was going to fade. People wanted to have a sense of tradition, something that looked like a church.”
Gosh, it was a gorgeous day today. I spent it mostly outdoors, thanks to the companionship of two friends and their children. Young children are great for getting one outside!
In the morning Wild Cow and I went to the park with her two children and in the afternoon I sat out in the backyard of Bluebonnetgirl (who lives around the corner from me) while her little boy napped on her lap and her little girl played.
It was probably one of the prettiest days we’ll see this year, and even though Bluebonnetgirl and I sat out through the late afternoon and into the evening (sorry! I really didn’t realize how late it was getting!) there were no bugs at all.
In between those pleasant outdoor times, I visited my neighbor at the convalescent center which is also a long-term care nursing home. It appears to be well-staffed but it’s kind of grim; I hope she can come home soon.
When I first met her 13 years ago, I asked her if she had children. “No, thank God,” she said. “I left all that sort of thing to my brother.” But now in her early 70’s she’s in poor health and alone: her husband died a few years ago; her brother died last year. She has a sister-in-law in Chicago. That’s it.
I am partly sad and partly relieved to hear that she is planning to move to an assisted living place once she gets out of the convalescent center.
Adventures in Mercy is back! Alaskan Molly is back with her sparkling, transparent and insightful “chronicle of a woman taking her first fumbling steps out of fundamentalism.”
It’s Graduate’s Choice tonight so I’m revisiting this recipe in case I need to make it tonight. It’s one of his favorites.
Green Thai Curry
1 can coconut milk, divided
1 t green Thai curry paste (to taste–a heaping teaspoon in this recipe was plenty for me, I’m wimpy)
1 onion thinly sliced (flexible)
handful sliced green or red peppers if you have them
2 cups veggies, steamed (flexible)
1 minced green onion (flexible)
bamboo shoots if you have them
1 pound-or so-chicken breasts, chopped into 1 inch pieces
oil to saute chicken in
1 or 2 t sugar
1 t fish sauce — slop in according to taste
fresh lime juice–squeeze in a nice juicy half-lime or to taste
handful chopped cilantro
sliced fresh basil leaves–some for sauce, some for garnish
serve over rice with additional lime, cilantro, and basil as desired
Instructions
1. In largish pot, bring 1/4 can of the coconut milk and the curry paste to simmer. Stir in the rest of the can of coconut milk, sugar, and fish sauce. Bring to a simmer; let cook 1 minute.
2. Meanwhile you’ve steamed the veggies.
3. Meanwhile you’ve also sauteed the chicken and onion slices in oil–make sure chicken is cooked through.
4. Add chicken and veggies to coconut milk mixture. Add bamboo shoots if you have them. Add chopped cilantro, lime and basil. Mix well, make sure everything’s nice and hot.
Serve over rice.
This was more than plenty for three.
Senior days continue. Remember how D18 was inducted into the National Honor Society?
Well, nothing says, “hey! We’re really proud of you!” like a little red sports car!
Congratulations, D18! We ARE really proud of you!
Last night’s district tournament game, played to a packed and over-flowing house on a perfect night, could have been the last high school ballgame ever for D18, who is probably not going to be playing college ball. But the team won! That means we have another game tonight, and then at least one more game next week in the regional tournament.
I didn’t see that coming at all! D18 kept telling me, “we can beat them, Mom” but I didn’t believe him.
And so tonight I was just savoring everything–the last time I would be work the concession stand (for the game before D18’s game). The last time I’d sit on a bleacher on a gorgeous late spring evening and be so invested in a baseball game. The last time I would sit in the stands with the baseball parents, cheering each other’s boys on. Like D18 I felt like an outsider the first year he played on the team, but I have come to love and appreciate the parents so much. You could not find a more supportive, classy group of parents than these. It took me a little too long to open up and let the other parents know I enjoyed their companionship at the games–and I think I’ve learned a good lesson about that.
The score was 10-3. Roman pitched a GREAT game. The other team had no hits at all until late in the game. D18 had 4 RBIs and also made the final double play to stop the other team who were starting to chip away at our lead. Another sweet moment came when the other team intentionally walked the guy ahead of D18 in the batting order. Guess they hadn’t checked D18’s batting average lately. He hit a beautiful line drive up the middle and scored two RBIs.
They have another game tonight against the #1 team in the district but regardless of the outcome, by winning last night they have a spot at the regionals. Two more times to enjoy the good moments as they come.
Maybe later I’ll have a newspaper link and more photos.
Sometimes someone will ask me to pray for their sick Aunt Mildred, and I’ll be praying for that sick aunt, and suddenly wonder why I should stop at Aunt Mildred. So I’ll pray for all the sick people in the world (wondering if it might have been simpler if I’d started there in the first place) and that leads me to think about all the healthy people in the world and shouldn’t somebody pray them, and why don’t more of us pray for all people everywhere?
I just might be guilty of over-thinking it sometimes. Here is a good thought:
“I have always been comforted by this thought, that whatever I may forget in my own private prayers, as long as I pray the Lord’s Prayer I have at any rate covered all the principles.” Martyn Lloyd-Jones
It’s hard to maintain a good case of Denial when I keep having to go down to the high school for functions honoring the high school seniors and functions at the ball field honoring the seniors.
Signing the roll for the National Honor Society.
Pinning on the Honor Society pin. Scott is doing the honors.
Photo op with the National Honor Society boy.
Goodbye to the varsity squad’s seniors. The last game of regular season play is over.
Dan, Roman, David, Scott, Keaton, Jordan, and Jordan.
Our boy hit his first home run of the season last night. (No photo!) Since then he’s been five for five at the plate with a whole bunch of RBIs (between last night and today.) It’s a nice way to end the season.
Here’s the team.
And here’s our boy…
“Batting fourth, the shortstop…”
“please remove your caps for the singing of our national anthem”
One-two-three-Fish Sticks! (Big Sticks)
Cheering the batter on at the state All – A State Championship.
Give me something to hit!
Thank you!
Give me something to hit!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you VERY much! Homer down the right field line!
Go Big Defense!
Chilling out between games at a tournament
Safe at home
A double in the extra inning wins the semi-final! Mob-mob-mob
Mob-mob-mob
Whoa! Still can’t believe it!
Believe it!!
Good game, good game, good game.
post-game debriefing
Good game, good game, good game.
This picture was shown on the public access channel that displays stuff from our high school’s events, and since it was better than the photo we snapped during the Grand March, I grabbed my camera and took a picture of the TV picture! What a lovely couple, my son and his date.
We had a really lovely day. We went to church in the morning which is something we hadn’t been able to do the past couple of weekends due to travel schedules with baseball tournaments. It was wonderful. We drive half an hour to go to church and I don’t always feel like going that distance (and normally I’d recommend finding a closer church to where one lives!) but it was wonderful as usual and we were glad we went.
I puttered around in the yard and cut some flowers and took pictures.
Scott brought me 20 bags of mulch as a Mother’s Day gift and a new tire for the wheelbarrow!!! Believe me, that was a treat. Plus I didn’t have to use the wheelbarrow, he moved the mulch bags into position for me so all I had to do was open them and spread them.
Our oldest son called, and then around 5 we had a barbecue with the younger two sons. Middle son had brought a couple of bottles of wine including an intriguing bottle of wine from Pomona Winery in Southern Illinois made from Jonathan apples. It was light, complex and tasty and a wonderful pre-dinner wine. Scott barbecued filet mignon and vegetable kebabs on his new grill–YUM.
Youngest son had thoughtfully bought me a set of party games for my Wii, so we broke that out after dinner and had fun playing it and then middle son and Scott and I played Zendo, which is a really fun and fascinating game that mimics the process of forming and testing hypotheses and making guesses about what “law” or rule is being observed in a set of data.
Here’s to all the wonderful, hard-working, creative, self-giving, persevering, generous, loving mothers that I know, including my own. Happy Mother’s Day!
Heritage
Pat Austin and The Squire
Pat Austin
Molineux (yellow) and Winchester Cathedral (white)
Abraham Darby
Climbing Eden amid the honeysuckles
The Squire
Brigadoon
Valencia
Falstaff
Almighty God, whom truly to know is everlasting life: Grant us so perfectly to know your Son Jesus Christ to be the way, the truth, and the life, that we may steadfastly follow his steps in the way that leads to eternal life; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
It has rained so much that there is water standing in my backyard as well as the front. Many of the roses are just plain soggy. Some of the varieties I grow have petals that can’t stand up to all that water and high humidity. Having said that, I’ll show you some pictures of what it looks like in some good spots! Early May the roses are peaking, so it’s a shame about all the rainy days we’ve had. Today it was pretty in between storms and I took these photos.
The Austin bed is mature and wonderful this year.
Pat Austin in the foreground.
Heritage and The Squire (pink and red, respectively – two fine Austin cultivars)
A closer look at Heritage. This is a great David Austin rose, very disease-resistant and with an attractive, leafy vase-shaped bush, but it is not good as a cut rose….it shatters within a day. The Squire is the red rose in the background. Also a David Austin cultivar. It has gorgeous blooms on the ugliest tall bush ever. It blooms well in the heat of summer, unlike many of the other roses in that bed.
Tuscan Sun…a modern floribunda. I pruned it hard this spring since it was struggling and it has come back nicely. You can see May Night Salvia planted at its base. May Night Salvia is sold at Lowes and is very popular – its color and form complements roses nicely!
Eden at the mature stage. In the early stages she’s white with just a hint of pink at the edges. Eden is a climbing rose.
Distant Drums’ first bloom
Pat Austin’s amazing color is especially rich in spring.
Francis Dubrueil – huge fragrance
The Herbalist gets an early start!
After all these flowers…and more! We have had tons and tons of rain. The yard’s a mess, I wish I could hire some gardeners!
As a Christian, I believe God created. In fact even when I go through periods when my faith is at a low ebb, that remains a fixed point. But I am agnostic on HOW He created: considering Who we’re talking about, I assume he could do it in 7 days and give it all appearance of being ancient, or he could use the process of evolution, or he could guide the process closely over long ages. I see no point in restricting the viewpoints Christians may hold as to HOW our Creator created, how long it took, what mechanisms he may have employed, etc.
Some people believe that a faithful reading of the creation accounts in the biblical book of Genesis require us to accept one working theory and reject all others. In-house this view is called “young earth creationism” and it is what is most often in the cross-hairs when people put down Christians’ beliefs. I — and many other Christians across the spectrum from conservative to liberal — see several other explanations that are not at odds with Christianity, and don’t agree that Genesis must be read that particular way.
I’m grateful to my middle son for introducing me to the work of Dr. Francis Collins, who heads the Human Genome Project and recently has written and spoken on science and faith as a Christian who believes God created through means of evolution. Dr. Collins has founded an organization, BioLogos, through which to participate in the “culture war” discussions about science and faith. They have unveiled a lovely new website and I appreciate what they’re trying to do.
