Comments on: Having a Baby is a Rite of Passage http://katiekind.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/having-a-baby-is-a-rite-of-passage/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:23:19 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Shanna http://katiekind.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/having-a-baby-is-a-rite-of-passage/#comment-865 Shanna Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:01:50 +0000 http://katiekind.wordpress.com/?p=421#comment-865 Reading this made me realize how hard it is doing this parenting thing alone with no mentor in which I feel close enough to share much of anything. My mother was suppose to be my mentor, but she's more of a critical eye who either things I'm too harsh or not harsh enough--her moods shifting quicker than shifting sand (and she's been post-menopausal for almost a decade--so it's not menopause). One minute she accepts my more "liberal" (her words which fits as I don't spank which means I must not discipline) leanings and other times, not so much. Two of my three sisters don't have children and the one that does (pregnant w/her second and final child) is just like my mother. It is very lonely to be from such a large group of woman and yet so alone. So, I flounder in my parenting at times--especially as parenting in an older adoption is a whole sea unto itself...careful steps to not further hurt a hurting child--yet set healthy boundaries that aren't alway pleasant...a qaundry at times. This inspires me to remember what I need to be for my children as they grow-- an available, open, non-judging--mentor who listens, loves and gives back....because it is what I wished I had when I was in there shoes years before... Parenting isn't about me....it's about the community in which we bond and connect to make it through this life in love and in Christ--that is what I want to be a part of and pray daily for. Thank you for your post. Reading this made me realize how hard it is doing this parenting thing alone with no mentor in which I feel close enough to share much of anything. My mother was suppose to be my mentor, but she’s more of a critical eye who either things I’m too harsh or not harsh enough–her moods shifting quicker than shifting sand (and she’s been post-menopausal for almost a decade–so it’s not menopause). One minute she accepts my more “liberal” (her words which fits as I don’t spank which means I must not discipline) leanings and other times, not so much. Two of my three sisters don’t have children and the one that does (pregnant w/her second and final child) is just like my mother. It is very lonely to be from such a large group of woman and yet so alone.

So, I flounder in my parenting at times–especially as parenting in an older adoption is a whole sea unto itself…careful steps to not further hurt a hurting child–yet set healthy boundaries that aren’t alway pleasant…a qaundry at times.

This inspires me to remember what I need to be for my children as they grow– an available, open, non-judging–mentor who listens, loves and gives back….because it is what I wished I had when I was in there shoes years before…

Parenting isn’t about me….it’s about the community in which we bond and connect to make it through this life in love and in Christ–that is what I want to be a part of and pray daily for.

Thank you for your post.

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